Retribution is a bitch

Um okay, let's first start with the new achievements of Awkward! Came to the computer lab, turned on my comp and KABOOM! I could have poked a Banshee in the eye with tiger nails with as much effect and lot less effort. The CPU was protesting in a voice that almost reminded me of the stick-thin SUCI women activists lying in front of the minibuses and shouting their head off in protest of almost anything under the sun. I was freaking out and when other people started freaking out as well , we called out to our resident tech buddy for help. He came and guess what! Two slaps and violent shaking later, the comp went quite like a sleeping baby. Everything went back to normal pretty soon except my ears which had taken the color of beetroot and took sometime to drain all that extra red.

Later today, I was trying out a shirt in some random shop and a toddler crawled in, sat in my cubicle while I was still changing and we had a really philosophical conversation about what's the right thing to do in life (aka the conflict between what one wants to do and what one's mom asks to do) between us for about four minutes. He was soon convinced that I was not his mom and he needed to go to mom. With that as the marching order I don't know if he crawled out and went into somebody else's cubicle. I thanked god that at least we were not in a public bathroom peeing. That would be a bit too much. I guess this was just a reminder that the glaring-at-kid karma can jump up and bite in the ass.

On my way back, I sat on the bus sandwiched between three couples that were kissing and making out as if it was their last day on planet earth. Gosh it was awkward. PDA is fine by me as long as you are not eating up your partner's facial parts in crowded buses without table manners. And then I re-learned the truth about straight women : here. Enough for a day, right? Right??

Let her ride!!!

I went dragon-boating last evening and came back with a sore back, a black and blue thumb and soaring spirits. So the next time you see someone walking stiff as a log, holding her multi-colored hand at an awkward angle and with flamboyantly dissimilar whiskers, that would be this bird. Anyway, the river valley is surprisingly near where I live and I have practically just found it out and needless to say, would  be going back with my camera soon. It was interesting to push myself do something I have never done and had  never even heard about before I came here. Just hoping that I learn enough and fast to keep up with the rest of the team and not ruin their chances of winning the trophy again this year. While I splashed half of the river onto the exceedingly polite paddler behind me, it was fun to learn the boating lingo. For those of you who expected something X-rated from the title, "let her ride" means "stop paddling" or in other words "you may breathe now". Not so exciting read but puts a life back into you.

Bottom line: "Dragon-Boating aka Furious Paddling and Splashing Self and Fellows - Curing Broken Hearts with Sore Backs circa 2010" coming at your nearest theater... SOON, SOON, SOON!!!!!

Live and let live, Kepe-Mama and some other shit

Whenever I am pressed for time and all that shit, I feel like stopping everything else and start blogging. Give me nothing to do for days and you won't see a tiny dandruff-flake sized post. To which simile I say Ew.

I was up since god-awful 6.30 because my throat and ears hurt like I had tried to swallow the shards of someone's broken dreams. I have simply no idea what to do with myself before its at least 8 and less when I am up after discovering cacti growing inside my ears. The thing is I detest paying visits to the doc unless I am absolutely on the death bed and there is no other alternative. I mean, NONE. The simple sermon that is engraved in my headboard is something like this:

Go see a doc coz the docs have a right to live.
Get those pills coz the chemists also have a right to live.
Throw those pills away, hold yourself and rock gently on your bed coz you have a right to live.

Well, that's a lie. I don't have headboard. And even if I had, they would probably hang me for vandalism. But, seriously. If I ever have a tattoo, I am going to have that thing tattooed in indelible golden letters pretty much in the same part of anatomy where a certain favorite professor of mine (Uncle Kepe for the initiated) supposedly have a tattoo of The Envelope Theorem. Or, was it Differentiate? I forgot which. May be both.

So apart from the minor detail that I still don't have any insurance for a few more days even if I lugged myself to downtown today to get hopefully the final paper-pushing done, this is pretty much THE reason why I haven't been to the docs to save their lives. But it's nothing that Ramdev and I can't handle if we tried together. And, finally talking of Ramdev, if you Google "Ramdev Fun Facts", out pops the page where he claims that yoga cures "the gay disease". I am touched to see that Google has such a sense of humor.