Blame the Ketchup Girl for this one

So you KG, you wanted a list of stuff that I want to do? However, as you know there is a gap between what Chhayanat wants and what Chhayanat gets. By the same logic, there's another gap between what KG wants and what KG gets. And which guy does exactly the opposite of what she is told? This guy! So may be not a list but something like a blob which may or may not look like my grocery reminders is due.

This is a bit different than the list of resolutions that get made every day and then get tossed around till the much elusive cleaning day comes and lo bingo! You know what happens to those. If you remember the famous poem by Dame Kobita Sinha - "Apoman er Jonyo Phire Asi", that is, "I Come Back for I Crave Your Insults" then you should know that at this point my biggest wish is to step down the sado-masochist ladder a notch and make it a little easier for myself. I wish to find better cuisine than fingernails coz I have been told to grow blubbers to survive the winter here. So may be one day I'd sit in a restaurant chair and pick up my fat overflowing from the seats onto the aisle to let the hot waitress pass but chances of that are pretty slim as of now. Econ guys talk a lot about counter-factuals. You could almost say that this wish has something to do with the fact that I am quite clueless should the said waitress pass by and there is nothing in the way to trip her up. I was also thinking that if I keep eating my nails and then may be a finger or two then is it possible to end up like that snake that was eating itself? I mean not all of these are really things that I want to do but I am writing in a stream of fucking consciousness kind of way and probably consciousness is big time fucked already. BTW, this snake and hogging talk reminded me that I want to get high on snoose and break one of my reader's boring "quasi-marriage" and rescue her from the extremely good-natured, heart-of-gold boyfriend on my next trip to California. So that kind of debauchery is what I wish for. Finally (as this should be wrapped up before I get further inebriated and start disclosing the stories of my weird affairs), you and I should set up a date for La Tomatina coz I can't think of taking a girl to anything but a tomato throwing fest if she calls herself The Ketchup Girl. So start packing and give me a shout when you're ready! In the meantime, I will continue to be Awesome.